Tory Leadership Candidate Admits to Trying Empathy

It was one time thing, 20 years ago, and I regretted it immediately.

In another shocking revelation from the race to replace Theresa May, a Tory leadership candidate today admitted to “a moment of madness” when they met someone living in poverty and thought “that could be me, but for all the advantages I’ve enjoyed throughout my life”.

“It was only a few seconds” protested the candidate, “Almost immediately I remembered that my success was entirely down to my skill and hard work, and had nothing to do with my millionaire parents and receiving the best education that money could buy”.

The candidate in question intends to continue to fight for the Tory leadership position, but admitted “I fully understand how sickening this must be for my fellow party members to hear, and I am prepared to accept the consequences of my misguided action”.

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